Hot or Not: Opening Week

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It's that time of year again - time for cherry blossoms to be in bloom.

OK, time for blossoms AND Nationals baseball. I'm guessing that when you're not staring at really old trees, you've probably been down to the ballpark and taken in a couple of games. You've also probably though to yourself  'wow, I am already for a list; a list to tell me who is doing well and who isn't on the home based-ball squad, even though the concept of small sample size tells me it is a lesson in futility this early in the season. SOMEONE GIVE ME A LIST'.

You're in luck, as like I did later on in the 2012 season, I will be providing you a weekly 'who's hot, who's not' feature. It will be life changing, it will more than likely bring peace to the Korean peninsula[1], but most importantly, it will be a list. DISCLAIMER: it will not be gluten-free. Sorry, Celiac Disease sufferers and Jayson Werth fans!


Let me reiterate - it's been a week, there's not much to say either way about a guy and his productivity this early in the season. Google Chris Shelton and read up on him if you need proof of this.

That being said, I will admit that both Bryce Harper and Jayson Werth have made the most of the first week of the season, both showing mid-season form power-wise as well as in their hitting approaches. Sure, they are sharing the team lead in home runs with 3 each, but overall, their at bats seem a little more advanced, compared to the rest of the team, so let's say they're the hottest.

For the pitchers, my HOT award goes to Ross Detwiler. 6 innings of 1 (unearned) run ball against a potent Cin-suh-nattuh[2] lineup to start the season on the heels of his impressive World Baseball Classic showing bodes well for a solid season from the Nats #5 starter.


With Tom Gorzelanny now with the Milwaukee Brewers, the jokes for this segment will be harder to come by, and will take a little more work to make. I am up to the challenge. I think. Kind of indifferent about it all.

...which segues well into my NOT HOT winner(?) - Ian Desmond , and his indifferent defense thus far in 2013. Sweet Moses on a slice of pumpernickel, Desmond has struggled. All of his alter egos - DERPmond and DE6mond, have made the trip up north from spring training, apparently. 4 errors in 7 games - not much else I can say, aside from it's early, and he'll pull his head out of his butt soon enough.

Desmond will share the NOT HOT honours with Dan Haren , whose first start as a Nat was a turd. I won't even bother to say more than that.

It's early. Keep breathing, Nats fans.

[1] Kim Jong Un? HUGE Nats fan.

[2] Ray Knight pronunciation

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